When I started this weight loss journey, I had done my homework. I had researched the best foods to eat, the best exercises to do, and read so many success stories I was convinced I was fully prepared to change my life. I wasn’t going to be one of those people that started and stopped, lost motivation, or fell off the wagon. I knew better.
If there is one thing I have learned during this whole process, it’s that no matter how much planning ahead you do, you won’t get anywhere until it clicks. I know that doesn’t sound very encouraging, and I’m sorry. I hope it does encourage you in some way, that at least it is possible. I don’t know what that moment will look like for you, or how long it will take you to get there. Maybe you won’t ever get that feeling, but you’ll get your journey started and completed some other way. That’s the beauty of this, we all have different things that work for us and we’re all on different paths.
If you asked me, I would tell you that I’ve been “trying” to lose weight for the past nine years. If I’m being honest with you, the journey really only kicked off a couple weeks ago when it finally clicked. Now, the years that I spent researching and planning and trying and failing aren’t wasted and I won’t discredit them, but I always gave myself an out. I never fully bought into this new lifestyle I was supposed to be living, until now.
I don’t want to go too far into it, but for me, the moment when everything clicked was months in the making. I’ll be real but won’t give specifics. It took months of therapy, medication, and getting out of a toxic work environment to finally get started on the right path for me.
So what clicked for me after all these years? If I tell you, I bet a lot of you will think I’m crazy, that it should have been a no-brainer, and if you think that way, you are blessed. I never thought that way, and it took me this long to change the way I think and process things to get to this point. What finally clicked for me is that I am in control of my choices. Every time I eat fast food, that is my choice and I have to live with the consequences that that brings (possible health problems, weight gain, and not saving money for something I’d enjoy more, to name a few things).
Owning my decisions is what should have been obvious, but was always a struggle for me. I excused every bad behavior, never held myself accountable, and then cried when I was just as fat and miserable as before I starting “trying” to lose weight. My heart was never in it because I never lined it up with the rest of my life goals. I want to travel the world. Well, that requires money and good health. If I spend all my money on fast food every week and don’t exercise, I’ll never have the health or money to travel.
That’s it for me. As I said, it may sound ridiculously simple to you, but if it doesn’t, know that I’m here and I get it. If you struggle to see the connection between what you eat and how you live your life, I’m right there with you. I just started this journey and I have such a long road ahead of me but I know now that I can get there. I know now that I can make it happen, one choice at a time.
For once in my life, I’m learning to trust myself and make the decisions that I want to make and taking responsibility for them. Something I used to get down on myself for, because I always felt that at my age I should have already figured these things out. The thing that I’ve come to realize though, as cliched as it may be, is that we’re all at different stages of this life and maybe I figured something out years ago that you’re only just coming across and vice versa. I’m going to stop focusing so much on everyone else’s journey and start living my own.
While changing my mindset has been the key, obviously none of this would mean anything without some actionable steps. The biggest change this shift has allowed me to make is to be consistent about my walking. I have started tracking with my phone my step count every day and aim for the 10,000 step goal. While I don’t always make that goal, I find myself up and moving around more often just to get a few extra steps. I have been trying to go for a walk outside of my home at least four to five times a week, usually for about two miles at a time. A friend of mine has been coming over after work once a week to walk otherwise I’m on my own in a local park I’ve started frequenting.
In terms of my diet, the big shift I’m still focusing on is eating at home and not eating fast food. I’ve had fast food twice in the past three weeks. Now, I’m still not eating all healthy foods, but that’s my first big change. Yesterday I had pizza. I will always believe in “all things in moderation” so when you see me post a picture of pie on Instagram and say I’m having it for breakfast, you better believe I enjoyed every bite. I certainly don’t do that every day, but I’m never going to force myself to eat certain foods just because that’s what I “should” be doing. (Don’t get my therapist started on the “coulda/woulda/shouldas”)
That’s all I’ll get into for this update, but I am getting better about posting more frequently so I should be back soon! 🙂
Oh! I almost forgot to check in with my weight. The last time I posted an update I had been gaining some weight and was at 230(though I was too embarrassed to actually put it in the post). I am currently at 223 pounds so I’m back on track and have lost seven pounds over the last few weeks. I’ll take it.