I debated even writing this week’s update, but I knew deep down that things like this were the exact reason that I started writing my journey. I clearly struggle with food, or I wouldn’t be over 200 pounds and shelling out any money to try and get back to my old size. I acknowledge that I did not do well this week, and I can only hope that by continuing to hold myself accountable through this blog, that I will get back up and try again. Again and again until I get back to me.
The diet: While I told you last week that I was not sticking to any certain plan other than calorie counting, this week I did not keep up with even that task. I kept eating. This week was rough and stressful and sad, and I ate every single emotion. I ate junk food and lots of it. I should take this time to note that I am one of those “all things in moderation” kind of people. I will never fully give up my desserts, which is why I opted for calorie counting. This past week I spent a lot of time at home and I really struggled with meal planning so I ended up buying a lot of processed quick food that wasn’t filling or satisfying so I ate way more than I should.
The exercise: I did my workout on Monday because that was weigh in day and I was so excited when I saw the number on the scale that I wanted to complete my workout and lose even more weight. The next morning I woke up with absolutely no motivation. I had a headache and told myself I would work out that night, but never did. Wednesday my husband worked from home and I used that as an excuse because I didn’t want to do it in front of him, and I couldn’t have the tv on during the day while he was trying to work anyway. I did write my week one update on Wednesday which made me feel accountable and I told myself that I would do my workout Thursday for sure. Thursday came and went though, and I never motivated myself to get it done. Knowing I had to work all weekend, I realized that I had completely let myself go this week, and some things would have to change if I was really going to make this work.
The results: When I checked in with myself on Thursday morning, I was up just over half a pound and I was pretty bummed. Finishing the week, I am back at 217.8lbs. To say that I am disappointed in myself would be redundant at this point. I need to get back in the group and get held accountable. Today is a new day and I can do it for one day.
Things I clearly need to work on for next week: I have got to learn how to meal plan and get things prepped and ready to go for those times when I have no desire to cook or I wait too long to eat, which is another thing I struggle with usually. One big problem I had this week was my kitchen was an absolute mess and it really made me overwhelmed to think of all the cleaning that I needed to do just to get to the place where I could make a meal. I hope to take back my kitchen and start making meals again for next week!