What I’m listening to: Pandora has a Summer Hits of the 2000s station. You’re welcome.
What I’m Reading: The One in a Million Boy by Monica Wood
The month of June rather got away from me. As I type this, my mind is distracted by the fact that I turn 30 at the end of this week. I’ve definitely got mixed feelings about saying goodbye to my twenties. They were full of a fair amount of pain and struggle, depression and anxiety, and feelings of failure all around. I suppose I won’t miss my actual twenties so much as I will miss the opportunities available to a young person just starting out in the world.
This past month made me realize just how difficult this journey will be, changing routines and well established patterns that I have cultivated over the past twenty some years that were never the healthiest or didn’t have my best interests at heart. Breaking up with those processes and creating new ones is going to take a lot of work, and I admit it, I’m impatient.
My goals have seen very little success this month. I got into a rut where 10,000 steps a day wasn’t even happening and I’m only just now bouncing back from that. The heat has helped encourage me to drink more water, though I’m still not meeting my goals. The water intake is the only good thing about the heat – I am not a girl that likes 90 degrees and I’m certainly not motivated to exercise when it happens.
My bedtime routine is about the only thing close to a success and even that’s a work in progress, but I’ll take it. I’ve got quite a production going between my teeth (brushing, flossing, and using mouthwash!) and washing my face and applying a night moisturizer. I suppose if I’m going to embrace my 30’s, things like night cream are going to have to become staples.
While I won’t get into the particulars (because honestly, as anyone who has suffered with depression knows, sometimes the triggers are ridiculous, every day things that make no sense to explain), I will say that these past few weeks have seen me get lower than I’ve been in a long time. I couldn’t shake it, and when terrible tragedies such as everything in Orlando recently occur, I soak up all that sadness and fear. Even just writing that last line out has brought tears to my eyes and a heaviness to my heart. I’ve always been a sensitive person, reacting to the emotions of those around me, which isn’t the best when I’m already down myself.
I only bring this up because I have to acknowledge my support system. While no one can actually bring my out of my rut except me, these few people have done wonders for my soul in the last few weeks. Most particularly several heart to hearts with my very best friend, but no less important were the conversations with my husband and my sister, and the random zombie movie night at my house when I didn’t have the desire to go out for a night of adventures.
I’ll be back in a few days with an end of June/birthday post so look for that. As always, I’m only one half of this adventure. For updates on how my friend Erin is doing, hop on over to her blog Almost Fit (and get ready to drool over some delicious looking food she’s cooking up!)
Hard to believe one month is almost over, but the road to Nashville has only just begun!