I almost didn’t want to write this post. My birthday will end up being the anniversary for this blog since I bought the domain for myself last year as a birthday present. I told myself that this year was the year I was going to stop making excuses and just jump into the craziness of blogging.
While I can’t say that my blog has grown much over the past year (pretty sure my sister is still the only one reading it- Hi, seester!!), I’m happy to say that I have changed. It’s good to look back every once in awhile because it’s easy for me to brush off just how far I’ve come in a year.
Last year at this time, I was at a job that was taking its toll mentally and physically. The environment was toxic but I told myself I needed the money and it would look good on a resume. Flash forward to January of this year and I broke down. Even my body finally broke down and told me enough was enough. After a nasty infection in my lymph nodes, I finally made the decision to put myself first and leave.
Looking back, this experience taught me a lot about myself. It proved to me that I did have courage, I was brave, and I could stand up for myself. Above all else, I finally brought myself to the doctor and ran the gauntlet of tests and exams to make sure that everything else was in working order. This was a huge weight off of my shoulders. I finally got the green light that yes, Jessica, you are healthy and strong and brave, and you can take care of yourself. This is the time I can look back and pinpoint that I truly started shifting my mindset and started taking better care of myself.
I always failed in the past, but this time I proved to myself that I could do something scary like quit a job that was financially needed but toxic in every other way, and I could make it. I wish I would have learned to trust myself sooner in life, but I can’t deny the joy of finally finding this peace.
Last year I wrote a list of 28 things I wanted to accomplish during the year. While a lot of it went undone, some things that I am most proud of are starting this blog, engaging in more conversations with strangers, making an effort to be more generous with my time, talent, and money, reading at least 28 books, and updating my resume. That last one happened as a default of changing jobs but I’m glad to have done it.
Things on my list that I did not accomplish that will be a main focus for the year to come:
Weekly date night with my husband – Entering our sixth year of marriage, we find ourselves in the comfortable routine of dinner on the couch in front of the tv. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I’d like to branch out more.
Along with a date with my husband, I’d like to do a weekly check up with myself. I feel like my goals won’t get so far off track if I’m checking in on myself every week.
Take a solo trip somewhere – this doesn’t have to be huge, but even just to drive a few hours away by myself and find my own adventure.
Do at least one thing that scares me – I actually did accomplish this last year, in finally admitting that I was floundering on my own and needed therapy, and also finding the courage to quit my job despite the potential backlash and financial burden. This goal needs to be one I keep annually though, as a reminder of just how brave I can be and how many amazing things I am capable of as long as I take the first step.
I haven’t pondered a list of 29 things, or how I want to set up my goals this year, but whatever I decide, this blog has become a part of the adventure and you’ll be along for every step of the ride!